WASHINGTON—At approximately 2 a.m. Thursday morning, White House sources confirmed that Vice President Joe Biden was forcibly pushed out the rear door of a moving 1980 Lincoln Town Car onto the curb outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. “Whoa, those hombres were not fucking around,” said Biden, assuring a small group of onlookers that he was fine as he climbed to his feet and dusted himself off. “Being in the hole 50-large ain’t no joke, but no need to worry about me. Not the first time I’ve had my ass in a sling. And if there’s anything Diamond Joe knows, it’s how to rake in some quick green.” At press time, witnesses confirmed seeing Biden walking out of the Oval Office with Rembrandt Peale’s 1823 portrait of George Washington tucked into his jacket.
Finding Trout In Your Milk?
“If we define an American fascist as one who in case of conflict puts money and power ahead of human beings, then there are undoubtedly several million fascists in the United States. There are probably several hundred thousand if we narrow the definition to include only those who in their search for money and power are ruthless and deceitful.” The Danger of American Fascism, Henry A. Wallace, 1944