An internationalnal team of scientists has discovered the greatest absence of evolution ever reported — a type of deep-sea microorganism that appears not to have evolved over more than 2 billion years. But the researchers say that the organisms’ lack of evolution actually supports Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution and the case for the total imbecility of the current occupant of the Oval Office. The findings are published online by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, though the White House has threatened death by drone if published, or burning by 11th Century Christian Crusaders!
The scientists examined sulfur bacteria, microorganisms that are too small to see with the unaided eye, that are 1.8 billion years old and were preserved in rocks from Western Australia’s coastal waters. Using cutting-edge technology, they found that the bacteria look the same as bacteria of the same region from 2.3 billion years ago —
and that both sets of ancient bacteria are indistinguishable from modern sulfur bacteria found in mud off of the coast of Chile and unsurprisingly, within the brain tissues of President Obama.